In his 1762 novel "Gulliver's Travels," Jonathan Swift wrote of Lilliput - a place ruled by pygmies where everything was dwarf-size And would Swift conclude this is a country skidding into Lilliputian provinces if he learned how the House Committee on Local Government voted to chop up Cebu into four?

With only 16 out of 71 members present, Rep. Emilio Macias (Negros Oriental ) ruled the committee approved bills, filed by three representatives whose terms were ending, to chop up the 478-year old province. Rep. Clavel Martinez would slice her district into "Cebu del Norte." Rep. Simeon Kinatanar wants "Cebu del Sur" as his fiefdom. Rep. Antonio Yapha will settle for "Occidental Cebu."

This itch to dismember provinces is nationwide. Rep. Glenda Ecleo wants the "Province of Dinagat Island" amputated from Surigao del Norte. Rep. Juan Miguel Zubiri would slice off a "Bukidonon del Sur." Reps. Proceso Alcala, Rafael Nantes, Danilo Suarez and Lorenzo Tañada III seek a "Quezon del Norte." Rep. Carmen Cari wants to chop a "Western Leyte" from her old province. All vow they only seek the common good.

No one is fooled.. This is the latest mutation of the 194-year old plague that Massachusetts governor Elbridge Gerry uncorked. In 1812, he badgered Congress to reset boundaries of his district, padding his party's votes, to benefit himself. That spawned the "gerrymander."

This political scam has spread worldwide. The Irish call this political con game "tullymandering" -- after Minister for Local Government James Tully. In the mid-1970's, Tully joggled borders to ensure that then governing National Coalition win a parliamentary majority. It backfired spectacularly. Fianna Fáil won by a landslide victory. "Tullymandering" now describes a failed attempt at gerrymandering.

The Macias committee vote was "political accomodation," explained the level-headed Deputy Speaker for the Visayas, Rep Raul del Mar. That's a polite euphemism for the amoral trapo system. Macias scratches the back of other trapos in exchange for their scratching his.

Along with Reps. Antonio Cuenco and Eduardo Gullas, Del Mar opposes dismemberment.

Congress is not a stamp pad, he told the Macias committee earlier. "The reason for the law is the life of the law. Congress must analyze the whys and implications of proposals, including the outer edges of what is acceptable to the public."

Not much is acceptable, a Cebu Archdiocese survey found. . All 139 parishes opposed the fracture plan. Even the parishes of Martinez, Kintanar and Yapha thumbed it down.

Former Finance Secretary Jesus Estanislao pointed out that modernizing states were moving towards integration, not fragmentation. The League of Provinces, in fact, has "called for a moratorium on the creation of new provinces."

And it is clear why. None of the chop-chop squad have economic development plan for his or her Lilliputian province. . Neither have they thought through proposals on how to augment local taxes-from real estate to business permits. Only 18 centavos out of every peso comes from local taxes, the Commission on Audit notes.

Instead, they pledge, "lean and mean government." All that means is hiring new complete sets of employees - from provincial assessors, fiscals, health officers, agriculturists, engineers to cops and janitors. They'd fund their midget provinces from Internal Revenue Allotments from Manila.

Today, IRAs account for 65 centavos out of every peso in local government tills, a United Nations study shows. "Local governments need to reverse this trend, first to 50-50. In the long run, LGUs should aim for a 70-30 ratio." IRAs were intended supplement local revenues, not parachutes for fading politicians.

"The IRA also is a zero sum game," warns Economist Fernando Fajardo New provinces in Surigao, Bukidnon, Leyte or Cebu will mean IRA cuts in to Bohol, Negros Oriental and all provinces, including impoverished Muslim provinces in Mindanao. It is a 'beggar-thy-neighbor policy.

Creating Lilliputian one-district provinces would only clone Siquijor. There, 69 centavos, out of its every tax peso, are chewed up by salaries. Maintenance and operating expenses wipe out the rest, Nothing is left for investment or new essential infrastructure.

Of course, the fragementation plan that Rep. Macias and cronies spur is insane. But then, "the world is full of madmen," Goethe wrote. "You need not seek them in a madhouse." Will such congressmen listen? Not likely. Their fortunes are on the line here.

Like the' "unjust steward," they're scrambling for even dwarf-size safety nets, facing dismissal.

But is time is running out on the "tullymanderers"?. Rep. del Mar has noted that Congress has other major bills on it's plate: from a stalled budget to the anti-terrorsim law, not to mention the impeachment. Objections to local self-seeking bills will erupt, from plenary in the House to the Senate, if it gets that far.

These bills are dead in water, says Sun Star opinion editor Bong Wenceslao. . Even former Senator John Osmena who sought dismemberment gave up. Perhaps.

But we must watch. Or we'll find midget provinces ruled by dwarf governors --- as Gulliver discovered when he waded ashore in Honyhonhmm Land.

(E-mail: juan_mercado@boholchronicle.com)