"No. Groucho is not my real name," dead-panned the mustached brother of Marx comedians Moe and Harpo. "I'm just breaking it in for a friend."

Unlike Groucho, ex-president Joseph Estrada didn't merely break in the name of "Jose Velarde" for cronies, the anti-graft court said. He masqueraded as Jose Velarde - and profited handsomely in the charade. So much so, the Sandiganbayan saw fit to jail Erap for life for plunder.

"Estrada was the real and beneficial owner" of Velarde's accounts, i.e. Equitable PCIBank accounts combo account C/A No. 0110-25495-4 and S/A No. 0160-62501-5, the court declared. And it started with a one peso deposit, put down by crony Jaime Dichavez. Since Esda Two, Dichavez fled without leaving a forwarding address.

""Estrada admitted he signed as Jose Velarde in documents presented to him by (bank officer) Clarissa Ocampo," the court observed. "He and Jose Velarde are one and the same person.

At its peak, Velarde account balances swelled to over P3,233,104.173.17. But panicked withdrawals, during the impeachment trial, drained them. The court ordered that the "loose change" left - P189.7 million - be forfeited to government.

Minutes after Presiding Justice Teresita Leonardo-de Castro ended the 35-minute verdict promulgation, the court posted, on it's webpage (http://sandigan.supremecourt.gov.ph), the full decision. Access is now just the click of a computer mouse away.

The decision ends the mystery that tantalized people: Who was "Jose Velarde?" Not me, said Estrada earlier. He later flip-flopped to say: Sure, he signed with a name other than his own. But that was "guaranteed" a half-billion bucks loan to accommodate crony William Gatchalian. Greater love than this no man hath than to lay down his name for a friend.

A name, the dictionary tells us, is a word or phrase that "constitutes the distinctive designation of a place or thing." But "what's in a name? That which we call a rose/ By any other name would smell as sweet," Juliet fretted over Romeo's family name. In Shakespeare's 1595 tragedy, ovarian lottery left the "ill-starred lovers" in opposite feuding camps of the Montagues and Capulets.

Others bicker over names of places they lodge in: from gilded gated enclave to crummy squatter relocation areas. "We go to gain a patch of ground/ That hath no profit in it but a name," Hamlet groused from his dank castle.

Names can be lucrative, as the paper trail tracked by the court in the Velarde accounts show. Joseph Estrada's personal secretary, Lucena "Baby" Ortaliza alone deposited almost one billion pesos" for the shadowy Jose Velarde. From Urban Bank Special Trust Account No. 858, Jose Victor Ejercito funneled at least P182 million also to this pool.

JV today is busy denouncing the anti-graft court for convicting dear old dad. When he catches his breath, he should explain, to government tax agencies, where he scraped up that boodle? Did he ever jot that down in his Statement of Assets and Liabilities? Ms Ortaliza should do likewise. But then, "there are more things in heaven and on earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

Indeed, as "bank documents show, without doubt, that the 'Boracay Mansion' was purchased by money withdrawn from 'Jose Velarde's current account No. 0110-25495-4, in Equitable PCIBank in the amount of P142 million." .Evidence turned up, during ocular inspection, pointed to "Joseph Estrada as the beneficial and actual owner of the "Boracay Mansion."

Few will recall now that, on December 4, 2000, then Rep. Joker Arroyo delivered the opening statement for the prosecution at the impeachment trial. He cited the 'Boracay Mansion' as one reason why "the House impeached Estrada and the Senate should convict him.We can not have a country run by a thief."

Estrada bought this New Manila property for P86 million, in 1999, when his net worth, his Statement of Assets & Liabilities claimed was only P35 million?, "Where did the money come from?," Arroyo asked. "Massive and expansive renovations were undertaken including a unique swimming pool with white sand. Architectural plans for rooms on the second floor 'indicate the names of his children by Laarni Enriquez: Jacob, Jake, Jerica. "They all have their footprints there."

The court agreed with Prosecutor Joker Arroyo. It ordered "the real property consisting of a house and lot dubbed as "Boracay Mansion" located at #100 11th Street, New Manila, Quezon City."

People will learn at no other school except that of example. By documenting the pillage and ordering penalties, the Sandiganbayan has reiterated standards of governance that battalions of crooks have ignored with impunity.

There's been the predictable carping. Erap's former executive secretary Ronaldo Zamora sneers "the decision is not worth the paper it is written on." Movie kabarkada, like A. Siguion Reyna, whine the money swiped was not public funds. This is "halitosis of the intellect."

The decision stands. It indicts an opposition for anointing, as their leader, one who has been shown up as morally bankrupt. It warns the incumbent President, as well as those who will come after her: like stewards, all must render an accounting. "To who much given, much is expected."

(E-mail: juan_mercado@boholchronicle.com)