A first grade school teacher presented the kids, in her class, with the first half of well-known proverb. Supply the other half, she then asked them: The proverbs, with the second half set of by quotes, appear below. The kids' replies are in brackets.

The insights of these six year olds may surprise you. But then maybe not. After all, didn't the Psalmist write: "Out of the mouths of infants and suckling O, Lord, You have perfected praise." -- JLM

1. Don't change horses "in midstream." (Until they stop running). 2. Strike while the "iron is hot." (Until the bug is close). 3. It's always darkest "before the dawn." (Daylight saving time). 4. Never underestimate the "power of a woman." (Termites);
5. Don't bite the hand "that feeds you." (Looks dirty). 6. No news is "good news." (Impossible) 7. You can't teach an old dog "new tricks." (Math); 8. An idle mind is "the devil's workshop" (The best way to relax);

9. Where there's smoke "there's fire." (Pollution) 10. A penny saved is "a penny earned." (Not much) 11. Two's company, there's "a crowd." (The Musketeers); 12. Don't put off till tomorrow what "you can do today." (You put on to go to bed.) And the winner was: Better late than "never." (Pregnant).

Now, this one is titled: "Questions That Haunt Me." They were compiled by a teacher of older students, actually in 6th grade. See if you can answer them.

1. "Can you cry underwater"? 2. "How important does a person have to be before they're considered 'assassinated' instead of murdered?" 3. "Why does a round pizza come in a square box?" 4. "Why do people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours or so?"

5. "If a deaf person goes to court, is it still called a 'hearing? 6. Why is 'bra" singular and panties 'plural'? 7. "If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? 8. "If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?"

9. "Why do they call it an asteroid when it is outside the hemisphere but they call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?" 13. "Does the Alphabet Song "A, B, C, D" and 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' have the same tune?" 14. "And why did you just try singing the two tunes above?"

Do nationalities shape the wisecracks. Below is what a friend titled as "Samples of American Humor:"

A man charges into a bank wearing a balaclava and wielding a handgun. "Everyone get on the floor!!" he shouts and stash the cash drawers. As he runs towards the door, a brave customer yanks

off his mask. The robber immediately shoots him and shouts. "Anybody else here see my face?"

The robber notices another customer peering from behind a counter. He shoots him, too.

"Did anybody else see my face?" he shouts again, waving his gun.

There is silence for a few seconds before a male voice is heard from a distant corner.
"I think my missus caught a glimpse...."

Another is about the distraught man who dashes in to see the Rabbi. "Something terrible is happening, Rabbi," he said. "And I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, 'Why? What's wrong?'

'My wife is poisoning me,' the man claimed. A surprised Rabbi asks: 'How can that be?' But the man insists: 'I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me. What should I do?' 'Tell you what," the Rabbi says. "Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."

A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, 'Well, I called your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?' The man said yes. And the Rabbi slowly but distinctly said: 'Take the poison.'

And this one, a friend wrote, has not title. But it may be read on the weekend. It also holds good for Monday to Saturday. Check it out:

"Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. And forget about the one's who don't.

"Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. But if you want your dreams to come true, you mustn't oversleep. Ideas won't work unless ' you ' do. And one thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

The happiness of life depends on the quality of your thoughts. Your mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. If you lack the courage to start, you're already finished.

The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime! It is never too late to become what you might have been.

"A sharp tongue can cut your own throat. Of all the things you wear, you expression is the most important. The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge. I lie the loudest when I lie to myself.

"Sometimes we are so caught up in who's right and who's wrong, so we forget what's right and

wrong. Remember: The "Ten Commandments" are not a multiple choice.

"Friends are like balloons. Once you let them go, you might not get them back. Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we've let them fly away.

"Sometimes we just don't realize what real friendship means until it is too late. That is why in Hamlet, we read: "Those friends and their adoption tried/ Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel."

(E-mail: juan_mercado@boholchronicle.com)